This is a guest post by Bonnie Shay of Mariposa Creative Solutions.
One of my most difficult, yet most rewarding, photo projects was for a divorced couple and their adult children. The divorce was acrimonious and bitter (the husband had had an affair). My job was to help the ex-wife edit the family’s photo and video collection and provide her ex-husband with a copy of everything as required by their divorce decree. Although the family would never be one “unit” again, my goal beyond the divorce decree requirement was to provide each family member with a record of their family’s story as it once was.
Unfortunately, all divorces interrupt the family’s story. I speak with first- hand knowledge since I, too, am divorced. What was once one, is now two separate entities. Plans that were made when a couple was married no longer exist. Life as you knew it is fractured into separate pieces. This is especially true when there is animosity between the divorcing spouses. Oftentimes, looking at their family photo history is the last thing a divorcing couple wants to do.
Nevertheless, the family’s history still exists. The fact that the story has changed, however, should not minimize the significance of the past. It was important to embrace the positive aspects of the photo organizing project. Fortunately, I was able to accomplish this goal with my client. We focused on the gift that each family member would receive at the completion of our efforts. Namely, an external hard drive that was filled with their memories in photos and videos. Luckily, despite the bitter divorce proceedings, we were able to celebrate the family’s story. Although the family would never be “whole” again, each member could acknowledge their past while focusing on moving forward into the next chapter of their lives.
When I was a little girl, my idea of a fun activity was to organize my family’s kitchen pantry, cabinets and drawers. I discovered many years later that it wasn’t every girls’ idea of a good time. Who knew? But it planted the seed of an idea that underlies Mariposa Creative Solutions: that each of us loves and excels at different things and if we recognize that and do what we do best, we can make a difference in other people’s lives.
My clients often say that at the beginning of our work together they feel like some or all of their home is chaotic. The great filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola said, “Anything you build on a large scale or with intense passion invites chaos.” And so it goes whether you have built a family, a career, friendships or a beautiful garden, a certain amount of “chaos” has been part of the process while you’ve been living life.
And if you’re reading this, my guess is you’re not like me — one whose passion it is to make order. The important thing for you is to stop feeling bad about that. It’s about recognizing what you’re good at, what you enjoy, and how to relieve that which weighs on you.
